Somewhere Deep Inside

PEMBROKESHIRE, WALES, UK: Sam Waldo Snyder is here in Tenby South Beach with his friends for weekend outing. Immediate after reaching in the beach, everybody is scattered, roaming around here and there. As usual couples are having special time. Sam is a self-declared amateur writer; writing feeds his unquenchable thirst for expressing observation on human sentiment, love and life. After searching for a while he discovers a descent place, bit away from others, to pass some silent times in writing his blue notebook. Sometimes he enjoys solitude in crowd. It is mid-summer. That is why may be the ocean is extra blue, so is the sky. Sunbathing, sailing, beach games keep beach-goers busy everywhere in the long unbroken beach. Yet, Sam is staring with firm gaze at the far horizon where sky kisses the ocean. West wind from mammoth Atlantic is mildly touching his face. He is wondering and pondering about the gift of nature. Suddenly a grave sadness sweeps over his heart and reminds him of Mariana, a Portuguese born Brazilian PR professional. Sam is now 26. By this age everybody goes through some sort of girlfriend experience. Sam first met Mariana in São Paulo, where he went to conduct a group project on emerging economies during his b-school days. Coincidentally, Mariana used to study English literature in Swansea University here in Wales; but she recently went back home after completion of her degree. Student life was full of fun for Sam and Mariana. Notwithstanding, their three-year long relationship is on the verge of unpleasant breakup because of infrequent communication in recent times thanks to respective career pursuits and geographical distance. The serenity of the beach loses its aesthetics momentarily, and Sam indulges into deep reflective thoughts. All on a sudden gentle breeze from Atlantic gets bit stronger in beach town Tenby as Sam starts to soliloquize and write: 

Somewhere deep inside something is uninterruptedly gnawing the heart. Pain wants to outburst. But there is no suitable word or just medium to convey the melancholic message of pain-ridden heart. A dejected look with a pale complexion on visage sometimes reflects the agony of tender heart, eyes start to glow tearfully, but most of its mournful state left unexpressed. The requiem of heart creates a deadly tune; heart itself hams that threnody as long as it wants for no good reason. Cloud of sadness eclipses the ambiance easing xenophobic heart to make a vain attempt to hide in the crowd of fleeting ecstasy. And that hide-and-seek goes on everlastingly.

Somewhere deep inside something is beating the heart and pronouncing a name repeatedly. The name which is long known, once frequently called, fades away with late night stars as dawn is peeking to start a new day. Like inner waves of raged ocean that name creates an intriguing feeling and echoes like a raving sound. Missing you not, Nymph! I can forget everything but you, and I seriously mean it. Your cologne imparting with summer breeze reaches to me miraculously; a mesmerizing inebriation entangles me with a firm embrace. My heart starts to chant:

Late night moon lost its halo,

Your mystic presence said me hello!

Didn’t see you for very long,

-Keep me searching in your swan song?

Restive heart crazy for you,

-Let it go to find me on morning dew.

Fog withered over time,

Trails of your footsteps created lethal vine.

Where were you? My heart screamed loudly,

Your wizardry hypnotized me perpetually.

Feeble heart fainted for you,

You hardly cared for though.

Somewhere deep inside I can visualize a place which is no less than a haven on earth. The picturesque features of the place fascinate me profoundly. It is a place where one can see how a rampant river meets the sea, and amalgamates with marine heart forever. There, ships’ coming back peregrination to the shore creates a fleet; from long distant, it seems like a large regatta. Glittering lights of the ships form a pleasingly fantabulous display as the sun bids farewell for the day. The eon of life-mystery continues. The tryst of river and sea makes multi-pronged waves on coastal surroundings. The wind from far horizon blows away my mind and leaves behind some unmatched complex equations of life. The pristine blue of sea creates a harrowing solitude. The lonely heart feels a solemn calling—very atypically undefined in nature. A makeshift mosque and dusk time prayer preparation of devotees add a rare atmosphere on the well-built, coastal belt embankment where I am enjoying wholeheartedly the spectacular beauty of nature that I cherish all the time. Floyd's Wish You Were Here becomes the twilight anthem of this poignant but massively gratifying moment. Nowadays, unsettled accounts of life are bothering too much; cost-benefit analysis takes a big leap on priority roster. Demand of time, hmm!

   

    By

George Atlantic as Sam Waldo Snyder

[Disclaimer: The content of this writing is completely imaginary. There is no resemblance of real life incidents.]