Deserving the Desired

DHAKA, BANGLADESH: In his search for enlightenment Buddha discovered that all human sufferings were rooted in desire. The human desire for this and that brings forth unlimited sufferings along the way. The more we desire, the more tribulations our life encounters. The fact of the matter is very few of us look for enlightenment as Buddha did. We are often accustomed to the ordinary way of life. That is why we even give very little importance to discover the true purpose of life—the precious thought of abandoning self-interest for the sake of serving others never comes to our mind. Our typical superficial thoughts can’t break the mold of mediocrity. We entangle inside the hackneyed conventionality and always think the way others told us to think in all these days. How many of us ever thought that we genuinely don’t need a prestigious job, fancy car, big house, bank balance or other modern amenities to make life so-called better and comfortable? Nowadays finding people who don’t yearn for these material possessions is very rare. 

Is there anything wrong to run after material possession? Hedonists find their pleasure in consumption and luxury brought to them by material ownership while ascetics believe in self-denial by avoiding such possession. And the largest portion of us stuck in between these two extreme groups and desire a lot of things without justifiably deserving the desired objects. We rarely ask the questions: do we actually deserve what we desire?  Or, are we really ready to devote ourselves to gain our desired objects? Attaining something great requires utmost dedication, hell-bent determination and relentless sacrifice. The bigger the ambitions, the more resolution often requires to make things happen. It means desiring something is very easy. Anybody can desire anything. But preparing yourself to get your desirables makes the difference end of the day. Many of us desire big but ironically our dedication to achieving this is very small—the tenacity and arduousness required to get the big things in our fist hardly go with our undynamic traits. That’s when things start to fall apart gradually.   

The most celebrated and modelled people of our times have built their lofty statures not just by desiring but by many years of hard work, firmness and dedication which make them the most deserving candidates of success among all their contemporaries. Consider the sports stars: wishing to be someone like Michel Jordan, Tiger Woods, Mohammed Ali, Sachin Tendulkar, Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is not enough. Modelling their success, possessing the very mindset to replicate their hard work and in fact practically making these happen is critically important to deserve the same enrichment they gained in their sporting career. Likewise, for an engineering candidate aspiring to get an entry in Caltech or MIT isn’t just the matter of desire rather it’s about preparing him/herself as a deserving candidate to get admission call. Similarly, desiring to be a Harvard or Wharton MBA holder isn’t enough but the mindset to exert maximum dedication to get a place in these highly competitive programs and actually preparing oneself for that enhances the chance of the desired outcome. Suppose you aim to outshine and want to be a noble laureate in your respective field but you aren’t arduous and passionate for the wisdom noble laureates often have for their discipline. In such a case, shackling the rein of your desire is always better.  

We have a tendency to make desire out of a vacuum, and oftentimes we indulge in some kind of fantasy to fulfil our desire. But life is tantamount to practicality—the force of reality drives away fantasy that nests in our mind. We can desire a six-figure salary or a promotion every two years from our employer. Nobody will bar us making such desire. However, some self-reflections are always necessary to root ourselves to ground reality—do we really deserve or are we really capable to add much value in the organization that our employer will offer us 100k salary every month or exalt us every two years? That is being valuable or deserving candidate matters to conform with the desire we make. Otherwise, our desire will drift in the air of fantasy all the time and we will live in disappointment forever. Professional coach Tony Robbins said is well: be so valuable that your contribution is felt within the organization and your credentials matter to your employer. And for that reason, we need to prepare ourselves continuously and evolve with demanding skills and capabilities that nobody can dare to deny.  

Deserve before you desire—I came to know this axiom on my way to the workplace one day. It was painted nicely among many more insightful proverbs on BKTTC boundary-wall located nearby city’s Technical intersection. I have shared the inner meaning of this thought-provoking statement with my students multiple times in the classroom. My message to my students is simple: prepare yourselves as deserving candidates to materialize your dream in life and your ambition for the future.  Success has no shortcut. It may sound like cliché but it is undeniably true. Renowned journalist and author Malcolm Gladwell said you have to spend around 10 years or approximately 10000 hours if you want to be an expert in any particular field. Though these figures aren’t empirically proved, they purposefully estimate the magnitude of dedication required to be a big shot in life.  If you have a dream, be ready to work hard to live it. If you have a desire, be ready to work hard to deserve it. Buena suerte! 


By
Md Azzajur Rahman
Date: 24-05-2020